Behind every resistance emotion, there are unmet needs
Please remember this point first: behind every resistance emotion, there are unmet needs. It comes from Marshall Rosenberg, the author of Nonviolent Communication. For example, every family may have an old man who likes to hoard things and has to buy food that is about to expire. Obviously, it's not a shortage at home. they still have to pick up a kilogram of free eggs against a strong wind of force 8. I can't convince anyone.
At this time, we must first know what the essence of the problem is. The reason why the old man refused to give up the plan was that it reflected his value - he was saving money for his family by picking up free eggs against the force 8 wind in winter. Therefore, if we want to persuade him, we must not tell him that this kilogram of eggs is not worth receiving. In this way, it is a complete denial of his value, and he must not stand it. What we need to do is to provide him with a better alternative and help him realize his self-worth.
Our family also has such an old man, my grandfather. We couldn't stop it before. Later, my mother came up with an idea and successfully persuaded him. She said to my grandfather, "you see your granddaughter is so busy every day that she doesn't have time to understand the situation at home and abroad. But what they do is education. How can they not understand national affairs? Why don't you do her a favor and cut out the valuable parts of the people's daily and Economic Daily every day so that she can quickly understand the recent policies?"
Is that enough? My grandfather immediately began to read books and newspapers seriously. He didn't go anywhere every day. He helped me cut newspapers at home. He no longer received that kilogram of egg, because he no longer needed it to prove his value. My mother replaced the old plan on which he built his sense of existence with a new plan.
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